The next thing I knew, I glanced out the window and she was at the mailbox trying to figure out how to reach the handle to put her craft inside.  (I know, I should have been paying more attention, but Hannah and I were [...]]]> Ellie made a craft for our next door neighbor, Ian, this morning.

The next thing I knew, I glanced out the window and she was at the mailbox trying to figure out how to reach the handle to put her craft inside.  (I know, I should have been paying more attention, but Hannah and I were absorbed in typing up butterfly lifecycle observations…)

She got part of the process right – you put it in the box and it shows up at another person’s box.  Never mind it wasn’t in an envelope, addressed, and the kid lives one door down.

At least she put on her shoes before she went to the mailbox.

A lesser known fact, outside of the adoption community, is that the Saturday before Mother’s Day is set aside to honor birthmothers.  Circumstances that surround the decision to make an adoption plan are diverse and innumerable -youth, poverty, sickness, oppression.  It is a valiant decision – one [...]]]> I bet you know that Mother’s Day is tomorrow.

A lesser known fact, outside of the adoption community, is that the Saturday before Mother’s Day is set aside to honor birthmothers.  Circumstances that surround the decision to make an adoption plan are diverse and innumerable -youth, poverty, sickness, oppression.  It is a valiant decision – one of the most selfless, brave, loving decisions that a human should never have to make.  Oftentimes, it isn’t even a choice but a fact for women living in oppressive cultures.

Our family has been touched, so immeasurably, by a woman called “Birthmother”.  We also call her “China Mommy” sometimes.  I always talk to Ellie about her birthfather as well, her birthparents, to give her better context.  The other day, she even, wondered aloud if she has any “BirthHannah’s”.

Because of the circumstances in a Chinese adoption, we don’t know any of her story before she was found by a Chinese citizen on the very day she was born.  I don’t make guesses aloud to her about who, how, or why as those concepts will be for Ellie to develop and process and accept as she grows.  I don’t make my guesses about how my precious Ellie landed alone, hours after her birth, waiting to be found.  I don’t make any guesses about how a woman felt in relinquishing her infant and her extreme emptiness – in her womb and in her arms at having to make this decision.

I wondered last night how this woman looks, does she have other children?  Do they look/act like Ellie?  What features in Ellie would I find if I were to ever meet her birthmother?  What would I ever say to this woman if ever the circumstances allowed me to meet her?

I would say, “I am sorry.  I am so sorry that life did not allow you to know this precious person.  She is so strong, and smart, and beautiful.  She has made our lives so rich by being in it.  I wish you could have mothered her, held her, cradled her, heard her voice, watched her grow.  I admire your courage and strength in carrying her and in relinquishing her, and moving on in your life without her.  I see your courage and strength in Ellie.  You are honored in our family.  I will always teach Ellie to respect you as her birthmother and communicate to her the love that you had for her by giving her life and making this heartbreaking decision.”

I would say all of these things to her because, “thank you” would simply not be enough.

Daddy taught her how to spell her last name: “H-A-L-E”.

I thought, “let’s teach her ‘Dad’ and ‘Mama”.  She picked up pretty quickly on Dad: “D-A-D”.

Then we tried Mama: “N-O-N-O”.

Where did she get that?

Ryan laughed out loud.

I answered, “that’s easy.  We would wear out the off button!”

I don’t really need an on/off button….but I sure would like some volume control.

Ellie has been following me around all morning happily singing very non-sensical, stream-of-conscious-type-songs in forte.

But then again, that [...]]]> My mom has always wondered aloud why God didn’t make an on/off button on children.

I answered, “that’s easy.  We would wear out the off button!”

I don’t really need an on/off button….but I sure would like some volume control.

Ellie has been following me around all morning happily singing very non-sensical, stream-of-conscious-type-songs in forte.

But then again, that button could be taken advantage of too….hmmm.

I saw some marshmallows in the pantry.  That would muffle the sound – but then there is the sugar effect…

It’s Monday – it is snowing AGAIN – and I am getting a lot of exercise….in patience, that is.  Hummmm.

Tonight she crawled up on my lap after she finished her dinner and I said, “hello, who are you?”  [...]]]> Ellie is deep into creative play making cookies and having a birthday party with playdoh or being a kitty and wanting to crawl on the floor at Costco on all fours.  She is forever in “pretend mode”.

Tonight she crawled up on my lap after she finished her dinner and I said, “hello, who are you?”  I was expecting to hear that she was a unicorn or a kitty or a pterodactyl and I was planning to join into her game…

She looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I’m Ellie.”

Ellie immediately answered, “The dinosaur skeleton on the wall.”

This girl has a one track mind – well, two tracked – her two favorite subjects are dinosaurs and planning a trip to Disney World to see the princesses.

It was a daffodil from the side yard we hadn’t noticed yet.

She ran back outside and came back quickly with a whole fistful.

We put them in water and placed them in the center of the dinnertable.

Afraid she would start plucking daffodils [...]]]> Ellie ran in the house full of excitement.  “Mommy, I found the hugest dandelion ever!”

It was a daffodil from the side yard we hadn’t noticed yet.

She ran back outside and came back quickly with a whole fistful.

We put them in water and placed them in the center of the dinnertable.

Afraid she would start plucking daffodils from every yard she passes, mistaking them for dandelions, I said, “Honey, it is fine to pick these yellow flowers from our yard, but please don’t pick them from any of the neighbors yards. ”

I am getting the idea that spring comes so late in this climate that everyone cherishes the show of color that their bulbs bring – they are everywhere.  Ellie’s cute and all, but I am afraid the neighbors wouldn’t take kindly to her picking their daffodils.

Hannah and Ellie have played “Easter Egg Hunt” all week hiding the eggs for one another.  They have had a great time.

But, there are eggs hidden in every room…I think it will take us until the 4th of July to find them [...]]]> …how many families in America have plastic Easter eggs strewn all around their house.

Hannah and Ellie have played “Easter Egg Hunt” all week hiding the eggs for one another.  They have had a great time.

But, there are eggs hidden in every room…I think it will take us until the 4th of July to find them all!

My mom was very sick with pneumonia when she was due to have my sister (3_??? years ago).  My brother was 3 years old that summer.  One [...]]]> I love the springtime when dandelions make their appearance.  Not just because they bring Ellie such delight in picking them for our table centerpiece, but because of my mom.

My mom was very sick with pneumonia when she was due to have my sister (3_??? years ago).  My brother was 3 years old that summer.  One day he was enjoying a June day in the backyard, but kept coming to the door and knocking to tell his Mommy something nonsensical, but-very-important-to-a-3-year-old.  My Mom was very sick and very pregnant and was continually required to get up and help him open the door every time he knocked.  Finally, her patience slipped and she said, “What do you want this time??!!??”

He smiled up at her with his blue eyes and said, “Me just have a flowery for my Mommy.”

I have heard that story my whole life.  I have a three year old now who loves to bring her Mommy dandelions and who can’t quite get that back door open by herself when her hands are full.  I answer with a smile every time – remembering my Mom’s chagrin for years afterward.

Thanks, Mom, for telling that story – I remember, even on the seemingly endless trips to the backdoor to admire a rock or a leaf or to those lovely dandelions.