Hale Family Tales

This is such a busy time of the school year with activities wrapping up, spring programs, field days, and recitals. With the added transition of a new baby and an increasingly large belly to lug around, it is no surprise that I have been in bed right after the kids have been tucked in this week. The days have truly been flying by.

I was hoping to blog more consistently, but I just haven’t had time. I wanted to get my thoughts down tonight though before I get some sleep.

Hannah – is another little mother for Julia and has been very kind to Ellie, making sure to play with her. Hannah’s natural compassion towards others has been very apparent over the last few weeks. It is one of my favorite things about her.

Ellie – has been maturing by leaps and bounds recently and seems to be doing just fine as the “middle child”. She is independent enough to handle this role, and at 4 1/2 is verbal enough to express her needs. She is falling in love with Julia more and more and told me the other night that “I love Julia more than you do, Mama.” She is starting to care about “making friends” which has never been on her radar which makes it apparent that her horizons are broadening.

Julia – Has two bottom teeth, is only waking up once a night for a bottle, is sleeping well, and is literally happy all the time. This morning, I was alone in the house with her and when I returned to the living room where she was playing, I couldn’t find her. I took a deep breath and finally saw her little foot sticking out from under the leather armchair where she had rolled and scooted herself. She was happily playing with the latch on Ryan’s guitar case. I guess she is closing in quickly on being able to scoot and crawl. We’ll really have to be on our toes!

Today, after I picked up Hannah from her Friday classes, all the girls were giggling in the car together. They were all belly-laughing so hard, I thought someone was going to hyperventilate. I’m not sure which thought came to mind first; the need for tylenol if they were going to keep it up very long, or how sweet the sound of children’s laughter is to a parent.

My friend – who is an adoptive Mom twice-over – posted this on Facebook today. These thoughts have been swirling around in my head over the last few weeks and she perfectly put them into words.

“So many people say that my girls are blessed to have me… and while yes I think it’s true, I am more blessed to have them, times ten at least. My girls are not “second-best or second-choice” to me, but in some ways I AM second-best to them. If all was right with the world, they would not have been made mine.” –HK

….”if all was right with the world, they would not have been made mine”…

Today, I didn’t hide my tears as I finished reading “Shoey and Dot” to Ellie. She told me that I was crying “happy tears” and wiped them away with her own little fingers.

Ellie has been coming up with some pretty fun ones lately and I don’t want to forget them:

-While we were gone, she was sitting on the couch next to Grandpa and kept having gas. He commented on it briefly and awhile later, she looked back up at him and said, “I just had smoke.”

-Hannah gave Ellie a little magnifying glass that she had “purchased” for her with her Awana Bucks. We were driving home from Awana’s and stopped at the exit ramp for our house. As I came to a stop, Ellie said, “Are we in the distance now, Mom?”

I responded, “Um, yeah, honey.” Forgetting about the magnifying glass, and thinking yes seemed like the right answer.

“Good. I don’t need to use my mag-mi-fying glass right now.”

-It isn’t unusual for her to randomly kiss my belly. She’s been doing it for months now. That must be getting a little boring for her because the other day she gently knocked on it twice saying, “Knock, Knock”. She’ll be surprised one day soon when at the same moment he knocks back!

-Finally, we had a quick snow shower yesterday afternoon. It must have sparked her Christmas spirit because she was singing “Here Comes Santa Claus” all afternoon – you know, on April 23.

Things are going very well in the Hale household as we are adjusting to life with our newest member. Julia continues to be a wonderful, peaceful baby. She has an emerging sense of humor either always smiling or trying to catch someone’s attention to blow raspberries at them (she especially likes to do it with her mouth full of food). She loves her big sisters and lights up whenever they come around. (They love her too and have been very, very helpful with her!)

We are heading to her first doctor appointment this afternoon. I have a few questions, but no real concerns about her health and development. She still wakes up 1-2 times a night for a feeding, but since she is so small, we recognize that she is probably needing to catch up on eating. She falls right back to sleep after eating, so at least we aren’t having any sleep issues. She will be getting vaccinations and blood drawn, and I am certain that I will have some big sisters to soothe too because of their protectiveness for her.

Hannah and Ellie are doing well with their schoolwork and getting back into routine. We have some pretty busy afternoons because of the girls’ activities, but most of that will be winding down soon as the school year winds down. I think they are ready for a little more free time to play outside and ride their bikes.

Mimi and Papa are heading our way soon to meet Julia Joy and I can’t wait. I am sure they will all be quite taken with one another.

Cross-posted from Ryan’s blog.

We made it home last night and were able to spend a few hours with my parents and the girls before we crashed. We had a little picture-sharing and story-telling time this morning and are trying to rest up. Just before coming home, I started putting together a quick slide show which I finished a little bit ago. We’ll do some additional videos once we get all of the grandparents together with Julia, but I thought this was fun, so we put together a few pictures and some music. Hope you enjoy!

Julia Joy Hale from Ryan Hale on Vimeo.

Cross-posted from Ryan’s blog.

The last few days have been interesting, like a civics lesson in Ethiopian government and adoption process. As mentioned in my last post, we met the birth parents and then they went back to Awasa. On Tuesday night, we decided that we really needed to try to head home and with some skyrocketing airline prices, we decided to give it a shot while the gettin’ was good. Without the court decision finalized, we went ahead and booked the tickets, and almost didn’t make it. Thankfully it all came together.

The Shalom orphanage had to write a new history for Julia based on the new facts with the birth father in the picture, so they did that on Tuesday afternoon and then drove it to Addis early on Wednesday morning. Mekonnen received that and brought it to the court where we immediately took it to the judge. She accepted the documents but told us to come back at 2pm for the final decision. Mekonnen explained that the embassy was waiting on us with this decision, so she was willing to do it a little quicker for us and asked that we return at noon. Firew, Sisay’s assistant went and retrieved the paperwork at that time but then several additional administrative steps needed to be completed before we were able to get the final stamp. They needed to receive the documents, send them to the secretarial department where it was typed up and then reviewed for accuracy, re-typed to fix the errors, and then certified and stamped for the archives. Firew was like a streak, going from one department to the next and begging them to complete the work in each office quickly.

Finally, about 2:30, we finished all of the court process and then we headed to translation office to get that done. While there, around 2:45, I called the embassy where they told me we would have to be there by 4:00 with everything in-hand to be able to get the visa. We felt fortunate that they would do that because that process typically takes a couple of days, but they were well-aware of our situation and were very helpful! Thankfully, the translation office finished their part in a half-hour and then the biggest part of the coordination had to take place. Gina and Julia were at the guest house, Sisay had Julia’s passport at the Bethany offices, and, in all of the hubbub with our problem, we realized that our family had never filled out the I-600 form. In addition, we started leafing through the translation and noticed that my name was spelled R-i-a-n instead of R-y-a-n, so Firew had to jump out, run back to the translation office, and get that changed in the documentation while Mekonnen and I flew to the embassy so we were there and reserving a place in line. Gina’s driver, Efram, picked up Firew on the way and then she arrived, followed immediately by Sisay in the car directly behind at 3:55. Gina and Sisay were able to make it through security and up to the visa portion of the embassy by 3:58, so we made it! We worked our way through the interview and then they printed the visa on the spot and we were on our way.

Congratulations all around ensued after we were out of the embassy and then we gathered for dinner, along with Birtukan and Nesibu, our guest house hosts, to celebrate before we made our way to the airport for our flight that night. Now, we’re in Frankfurt, Germany, and waiting for a few more hours before our flight on to Denver to arrive this afternoon.

I think Gina and I will send something more formal along to the Bethany offices, but I want to take a moment to just say how thankful we were for everyone in Ethiopia for working with us to solve the problems we had. Yes, there were mistakes made, and while in the middle of the situation there were times when we were pretty frustrated about the whole thing, but everyone worked so hard to put everything back on track and to move things forward as quickly as possible. Mekonnen, himself, dedicated over a week and a half of time to personally see things through. Sisay and Firew both played critical roles in getting everything accomplished, and they all did it seemingly without complaint. At the same time, Nesibu and Birtukan took us in and treated us, literally, as part of their family, caring for us, feeding us, and praying with us throughout the process of resolving the problems. They were on our side the entire way!

So, we’re done and on our way. We realized that we had posted a premature blog picture of Julia a couple of days ago, but now, since we’re official and on our way home, we thought it might be fun to post a few more! You can see our public albums online, but here are a few highlights. Enjoy!

This is the e-mail that we sent our parents to let them know how our day went. I am just going to paste it here, because, frankly, I am too tired to rehash the story again:

Well today’s news came out of left field… When Ryan et al. went to
court today the boyfriend of the birthmother spoke up and said he was
the father. It was a very long story and a very long morning for
Ryan, but in the end they testified in the federal court that they are
relinquishing their rights as parents.

However, the paperwork that was written and stamped last week in
Awassa needs to be updated to include him as birthfather. They are
working on that today and a representative from the orphanage will
have it in Addis Ababa by the time court opens tomorrow morning. There
is no need to repeat the entire process that they went through with
the birthmother since they aren’t married.

So, we try again tomorrow. Legally, they are done and will return to
Awassa today, but we need this history to be accurate before the judge
will give her final stamp.

After court, Ryan and Mikkonen came to pick up Julia and me to have a
meeting with the birth parents. I was very nervous since we don’t
have that last stamp from the judge, but Mikkonen reassured us that
they weren’t interested in pursuing any challenge to the adoption and
that they were just interested in saying goodbye to Julia. We spent a
few hours with them, both at the Bethany office and at a restaurant
where we were able to video them and take several pictures. We think
that will be good for Julia someday when she is able to understand
about her adoption.

We believe that we will be coming home tomorrow and probably arrive in
Denver late in the afternoon on Thursday. We’ll confirm and let you
know where we stand as the day progresses.

Hope all is well on the home front! Girls, Mom and Dad love you and
we hope we will see you on Thursday!

Ryan and Gina / Mom and Dad

P.S. I (Ryan) took over writing this email during the part about the
birth parents. Gina is in the kitchen teaching Birtukan how to use
muffin cake pans for some muffins she is going to try making tonight.
Gina and Birtukan made some banana bread over the weekend and got into
a big conversation about baking. Birtukan asked about what the
difference was between cake and muffins and so Gina was able to
communicate with a family early in the weekend who left on Sunday to
travel after just three days notice. They brought the muffin pans so
now they’re working on using them for dinner tonight!

The birthmother, the attorney, Ryan, and various Bethany staff headed to court today. The only problem was that there was no judge or staff present in the court that has jurisdiction over our case. Ryan said every other court was open today, except the one dealing with our issue.

Evidently, today wasn’t a total loss in that it gave the legal staff an opportunity to get all the paperwork in better order for tomorrow. Always with a plan, everyone will meet again at 9 am at the court to give it a go again and once again, our embassy contact has said that she will process the visa tomorrow if we get to that step.

The birthmother is wanting to meet with Julia so that is on the docket for after court as well tomorrow. I am not sure how I will approach the situation, but I am praying for grace and mercy for all. Ryan and Mikonnen have now had several encounters with her and I think that will make things easier.

Ryan, Julia, and I were able to go out for a late lunch and did a little bit of strolling through a market and stocked up on diapers and baby food. It was good to get out by ourselves for awhile. I think we are both taking things in stride, but are always very eager to get home as soon as possible.

We are very hopeful this morning. Ryan got a call first thing this morning that the birthmother had left Awassa and would arrive midmorning in Addis Ababa. Right now Ryan, Mikkonen (Bethany’s Ethiopian Director), and the attorney, Rahel, are making their way to the court where they will meet with the birthmother and the judge. If that goes well, the documents will then be translated for the US Embassy and we would take Julia there for her US Visa. Ryan’s contact at the the Embassy has said that she would be able to process the visa immediately. There might be a final goodbye with Julia’s birthmother, but that has not been confirmed. Up to now, Julia has not seen her since last fall. While Julia is too young for this to be traumatic for her, I can only imagine how difficult it would be for her birthmother.

Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa, the girls had a very nice Easter. They sent some pictures and they girls look beautiful and happy. I am glad that at least by appearance, the delay is not causing them any distress. Kids are resilient and I know they are being well taken care of.

Maybe, if everything goes well today, we can be home Tuesday afternoon.

Cross-posted from Ryan’s blog.

We’ve been having all sorts of new experiences and fun here in Addis. Yesterday afternoon, Nesibu and Birtukan took us over to the golf club but I was then able to take Nesibu out for a round of golf. We played nine holes and had a caddy. Nesibu had never played golf before, so we went out and just alternated holes. The caddy was a golf pro of sorts, so he helped give tips along the way and we had a fun time over a couple of hours playing some golf.

Last night, we returned home and began to get Julia around for bed. Nesibu had told us on Friday that they would be slaughtering a lamb and he had brought one home before we went to the golf club in the afternoon. As we were changing clothes, we heard the bell for the courtyard door ring and shortly after, the sound of blades being sharpened outside of our window. Nesibu came to our door and asked if I wanted to come and see and then take some pictures. Honestly, I was a little reticent, but I went out for the festivities. Nesibu and the butcher held down the lamb and cut its throat while Edu and Rahi, the smallest boys, and myself watched and took pictures. The rest went ahead and stayed inside, which I honestly can’t blame them for!

Over the next couple of hours, the lamb was butchered and prepared for the feast that we’ll be having in their home today. This is quite an honor for us to be able to stay here and be with their family. Normally, they would be with their families and, I’m told, serve over 50 people on the food that we will have today. I’m sure I can make up a little bit of the slack there, but it is going to be quite a feast!

I didn’t take pictures of the most gruesome scenes, but did take a couple of action shots anyway. Here is the butcher and Nesibu just before the slaughter and then Nesibu and Nati butchering the meat and preparing it a couple of hours later.