The other night as we were driving home from Awana, Hannah was wondering out loud if there will be kids in the new neighborhood to play with once we move to Denver.
She looked over at Ellie and said, “don’t worry, I will find you a nice three year old friend that you like to play with as much as Lily (our neighbor across the street.)”
Ellie was cleaning her room this afternoon and decided to store a toy on the top shelf of the hutch on her dresser. I heard her calling me from the other room when she realized she was not going to get down by herself. I was shocked to see this little wisp of a person (at least size-wise, personality-wise she is a powerhouse) sitting on her dresser waiting to be rescued.
After my initial shock, I expained that she can’t climb on her dresser and I tipped it a bit so she could see what would happen…
I said, “phhew, sometimes you really scare Mama.”
Ellie replied, “phhhew, sometimes I really scare myself.”
********* ******* **********
Ellie helped me put something away this afternoon.
I said, “thanks for helping your old mom.”
Ellie said, “You not an old mama, you is a nice mama!”
It’s nice to have a fan!
I think I can…
I think I can…
The days are moving swiftly, but things are being accomplished. I am trying to keep a balance between wrapping things up here in STL by going to our favorite spots one last time, visiting with friends, and getting in doctor’s/hair/auto appointments. There have been several trips to drop off items for donation to a local thrift store that helps families with their proceeds.
The biggest key next week is all of the babysitting I have set up for the girls. She is a teenager from a family who is very near and dear to us. My girls will enjoy the extra time with her while their Mom finalizes cleaning out closets, setting up utilities (there is always a minor catastrophe in the background as soon as I am finished waiting on hold to finally talk to a representative who is eager to talk to me, but alas, makes me wait), and sneaking out the toys they don’t playing with (oops, did I say that out loud…)
But, today, we are going to the Children’s Museum with one of our favorite friends. Today, we play!
I guess the sunshine this week must be making Ellie optimistic. She pulled out one of her favorite sundresses to wear today.
Hannah saw her and said, “She’s wearing that?”
Hannah showed up later in her own sundress in the same style.
Ryan checked the forecast for Denver….Sunny and 62.
Reality in STL: Sunny and 49, not bad. Not sundress weather, but not bad.
All parents eagerly await achieving the official “potty trained” status. Ellie began to potty train herself very early – before she was even two she was in pull-ups/panties and loved using the toilet. I have found, though, that there is a season, or a transition, where they are, perhaps fully functional in the control of bodily functions, but not so much fully functional in the, um, process of getting steps 1-5, etc. completed in a timely fashion, littlest mess and the least amount of germ factor. I have told Ryan many times that I understand that he has spent a lot of time hangin’ out outside of many a restroom. I also explained, that gee, even though, I have appreciated his patience, he has been dealt the better end of the deal. (It would probably be another post, of which I have no interest in writing, to discuss why Daddy doesn’t take them into a men’s room…or really, maybe that is enough said already.)
We are “in transition” and I would even say very much at the end. At home, and usually when we are out, Ellie is completely independent and even becoming proficient at “the wipe” after the big job.
Last night, though, after spending a very long time standing over her in a very small public stall and after having discussed every subject of interest to a three year old. And after discussing the function of every item found in the small stall…And after telling her why she should touch as few of those things as possible…And after waiting still more time, I heard her little sing-song voice singing a cute little song to herself, “La, La, La, I’m just pretending on the potty, La, La, La. I don’t need to go potty and poo-poo anymore. La, La, I’m finished.” Gee, we’ve shared so much here. Maybe you could have shared that with me.
Someday, I might even miss our times and deep conversations in those stalls.
This is such a bittersweet time for me and our family as we prepare to move to Denver. I think, overall, everyone is fine and will weather this well. We all are the type to focus on the future and take the good with the bad. I thought I would record some of the feelings we are having at this point:
5 Bad Things:
1. Hannah isn’t getting to complete her school year with Awana’s, Co-op, and her Drama class. While she loves to be homeschooled, she is a very social person and loves her friends and teachers in these activities. She is taking this very well; she shed a few tears, but her sense of adventure is taking over and she is eager to move to Denver and meet new friends and become involved in new activities. We have made such good friends in our homeschool community, it has been great to be with other families who hold the same values we do and who understand the ups and downs of homeschooling life.
2. We have been with many of the same doctors here in STL since we moved here. We use the same pediatrician who came to see Hannah in the hospital when she was born. They helped us prepare for and make sure Ellie was healthy when she came home from China. While they haven’t had a child adopted from Ethiopia before, they were up for the challenge and said they would be whatever help they could. I have already asked Ryan to check with folks at his new office and if anyone gives any glowing comments about their pediatrician, I want their number.
3. Our Adoption Specialist, Aimee, helped us through the whole process of completing Ellie’s adoption and has gotten us to this point waiting for Treasure. She knows her stuff paperwork-wise, is happy to help us through the shaky emotional stuff, and has such a satisfaction in helping families add to their families through adoption. One day right before we left for China to get Ellie, she came over to our house, sorted through all of our paperwork making stacks to sign now, sign later, explained “the brown envelope” for naturalization once we got back stateside. Her proficiency gave these first-time adoptive parents peace that we were prepared paper-work wise to go get our baby.
As you talk with folks about their adoptions, you hear about better or worse AS’s. I always considered it a blessing that we had a great one.
4. We had this home built and put so many of our ideas and touches into it. We are leaving this home. While I like our new house, it will take some time for it to “feel” like home. Of course, I want my children to be least affected by the suspended feeling you have after leaving one home and waiting for the new one to fit just right. Also, my flowers are going to wake up and turn green soon. I won’t be here to see them.
5. Most of all, we are leaving some very important people in our lives. Ryan and I have spent most of our marriage here. There are people who have invested heavily in our lives and whom we care about deeply. There are kids we waited for to be born who we won’t see grown up. There is one special family whose kids were very young when we moved here, and are amazing teenagers now. It would be great to see them as they begin to soar on their own.
OK – with a big lump in my throat, I am moving on to the positive. Someone told me just yesterday that I am that kind of person, so here I go with determination:
1. The Mountains, The Weather, The Scenery. Enough said.
2. Ryan is as pleased as punch to live in Denver. He said several years ago that the only place he would really be interested in moving to would be Denver.
3. Adventure -We are all pretty eager to explore our new area.
4. A smaller home – hopefully equals less time feeling frustrated over my lack of time for housecleaning and more freedom to read books/play blocks/go to the park with my kids. They won’t be this little for long.
5. Hmmm. I think the above 5 things put me in a gloomy mood, sort of matches the winter sky outside my window….hmmm, oh yeah, the over 300 days of sunshine that Denver boasts! That is, in fact, a good thing.
At dawn this morning, Ellie was standing by the side of my bed asking for a bologna sandwich with ‘merican cheese.
We have been to Denver and back. I can say that the clear, blue Colorado sky is much on my mind today while I sit and look out my dining room windows at the low, cloudy, winter horizon here in the mid-west.
It was quite a whirlwind week. Here are the highlights:
-We looked at at least 13 homes over 5-6 days and settled on a charming, little home in Littleton. Ryan and I both liked it instantly and all else paled in comparison. The owners (we are renting) are wonderful and I think it will be a great situation.
-Ryan reported to his office and worked his normal schedule except “ducking out” a bit early a few days to look at a house or two with me.
-My computer harddrive died and we had to find a Mac store for some repair work. Actually, not that hard to do in a town like Denver. I counted at least 5 Mac stores just driving around. STL has only two. While I don’t consider myself a “techy” it was frustrating to be without a computer while trying to find rentals, look up maps, and keep my mind straight (Before leaving STL, I had created a spreadsheet listing addresses and pertinent info about many of the homes we were wanting to see.)
-My in-laws came into town to help out where needed – and boy, were they needed. They helped with the girls of course and were a great support to me as I navigated my way through the various areas of Denver deciding which would be the best part to settle. Ryan was so bogged down with work that he really had to leave a lot of the leg work up to me. I was so thankful for the help – and company. One day, Grandma kept the girls at the hotel to swim while Grandpa and I went to look at a house. We ended up driving for a couple of hours around Denver. We had a huge map and two GPS’s going. I teased about the women’s voices on the GPS’s. Mine was named, “Norma Never-Lost.” while Grandpa’s was called the grumpy, bossy one for her stern voice. Actually, I learned a lot about finding my way around Denver this way…
-My girls – while a bit weary at times – trooped along and we made it through the week rather well. I am not much on buying toys “just because”, but I did take them to Build-A-Bear Workshop one afternoon and they both picked out a silly pink monkey to stuff and dress. I ask you, what is better than one pink monkey with hearts? It is two pink monkeys. I don’t care, really, they were troopers and I was happy to treat them.
Thankfully, they both seem fine about the move. I think we will have some ups and downs, but I think they will be fine for the most part. I have learned over time how to read my Ellie Grace and as long as Hannah knows what to expect she does fine.
-We took the girls up to Keystone on Valentine’s Day to ski. First time for them and only the second time for me. Ryan skiied alot when he was younger. He wanted to get the girls started on this new adventure. They did great overall. Ellie hung real close to Daddy. She figured out early on that if she didn’t want to go anywhere to bend her knees and lean forward in her boots. She assumed that position a lot. Hannah made it down the bunny hills a couple of times on her own, cried when she fell, and complained about how hard it was to get up. All par for the course in learning how to ski. Next time we’ll do ski school, but this was a great adventure and got everyone – especially Ryan, very excited to move close to the mountains.
So, the movers are going to come and do a walk through, and then return in a week or so to pack up our life here in Missouri. For now the details are swirling, but I know we will all land safely in our lovely new home in Colorado.
I have always been pretty strict on how much TV my kids watch. Hannah is allowed to watch two shows after her schoolwork and chores are complete.
“Mom, I’ve been thinking about watching 3 shows now.” – very grown-up sounding, as if this is her decision.
“Mmm-Hmmm, Honey” (head in the refrigerator looking for apple juice for Ellie)…”Wait, why would you watch 3 shows?”
“I’m older and so I decided I need three now.”
Pouring the juice now, I think, “I can work this to my advantage”.
I nonchalantly mention that, gee, I would trade off an extra TV show for an extra chore…
She agrees, mentioning how she is willing to dust. I mention how the dishwasher needs unloading.
Really, it is a lesson on the concept of free enterprise. I have something she wants and she can provide a service I want.
Remember the “You be the mama polar bear and I’ll be the baby polar bear game”?
She hasn’t mentioned playing that game one time since our “little talk” several weeks back.
Hmmm.
