By the way, it is my birthday!
1. Invite her to read a book in your lap.
2. Tell her you love it when she wears her Snow White costume.
3. Take her for a walk, stopping patiently while she stops to examine as many walnuts, rocks, or bugs as she likes.
4. Lay on the floor beside her and build with blocks allowing her to build it up until it comes tumbling down.
5. Exclaim over the new bouquet of clover and wild flowers she brings you every time she comes in from playing on the swingset.
6. Did I say, invite her onto your lap asking her to read a book with you – especially if it is the one you have read three times already today.
Our dossier is ready to go to Ethiopia except for one little piece of paper. The approval from Homeland Security to immigrate an orphan. We were fingerprinted on Sept. 2. We received a request for more evidence about our homestudy less than two weeks after that. We responded within a week – thanks to our excellent adoption specialist. Now, a week later, I am singing, “Where, oh, where could my approval be? Oh, where, oh where could it be?”
Today, I was certain it would be in that pile of mail that always appears in my mailbox. I was so sure. Of course, I was certain yesterday, too.
Eight is looming large on the horizon for my oldest, Hannah. Eight will be a hard birthday for both her Dad and me to take. After all, Eight is just around the corner from the double digits, and you know what comes after that.
Hannah plays all the time with a neighbor, Margo. She lives just outside our neighborhood and across the road. We can see their second story from our house. One time we even heard their security alarm going off. Margo just turned 8. A couple of months ago, Margo’s parents let her cross that street by herself and walk to our house. It has become the norm. Today, Hannah was heading over there to play after school. She wanted to walk. I said, “okay, you know how to be safe.” It was no big deal. She called me when she got there, as I can’t exactly see her the whole way – especially on the part where she crosses the street.
The enormity hit me a while later. It’s like some line has been crossed in her growing up. She doesn’t need me to help her cross the street anymore.
I believe that my favorite part of this story is that when it was time for her to branch out to something new, I knew she was prepared. Oh, my hope and fervent prayer, is that that peace will continue.
I know how to keep Ellie busy even if it is a trade-off between getting a few things done and having a prospective mess on my hands —playdoh, tupperware drawer, playing in the dishwater…
This morning she was “scrubbing” the sink after “helping” me wash the breakfast dishes. She loves to play with our old pink bottle brush. I think it brings back memories. I told her it was fine to scrub the sink with the brush but we were not using any more soap. (The girl has never seen a bubble she didn’t like!) Daddy popped in to get something to drink and stopped to wash his hands first. Evidently, she looked up at him and sternly said, “Mommy said no soap”!
BTW, I will be getting a new bottle brush before New Baby.
Tylenol times two. Thermometer times two. Lots of tissues. I found them today snuggling in a rocking chair watching TV under a blanket together. I guess misery does love company.
Ellie is going to tell her Papa on Friday when he gets here that Vick’s is yucky.
(I figure if I play sympathetic and tell her Papa says it will help, I can still get it on her. It’s yucky, but it works.)
I read a post on another “expectant” adoptive family’s blog that got me thinking…Actually, her words made me think I am not totally looney – or as looney as I sometimes fear.
The mother was discussing having a physical reaction/link when we have children biologically versus not having one through adoption. She said, “My theory is that this is how God can connect us with each other. How I can already feel a real connection to my child that is living in Ethiopia. I don’t feel any kicking though…”
My Confession: I sleep with a blankie. It is cute – fuzzy brown, and soft green with darling polka dots. My requirement was that it be gender neutral since we don’t know if New Baby will be male or female. It is the first thing I purchased for this new child.
It all started when we were waiting for Ellie Grace. I read that to foster bonding with a baby, you should sleep with a blanket or some such article and then provide it to the baby when they are sleeping. The familiarity of your scent would help in the bonding process. So, I slept with a flower embroidered, lace-edged, white blanket while I waited and waited and waited for Ellie. Ellie came home and slept with that blanket. It didn’t become her favorite and I eventually hung it over her crib. It still hangs over her bed. It is one of my treasures.
Actually, when I think about, it really started when I was carrying Hannah. My favorite time of day was getting in bed with my big ole belly and watching her wake up and move as I settled in to rest. A woman can’t forget the feeling of waking in the middle of the night and rolling over in bed and thinking of the life inside of her.
So, no baby belly. But a mama who wakes in the middle of the night and has something tangible to hold while thinking of and praying for her new child.
My sweet husband has been blessed with two beautiful, very feminine little girls. They have earrings now, they are frequently found playing in princess gowns, and their bedrooms are floor to ceiling pastel. This guy is a jock, an initiator, a “let’s quit messing around and get this done” sort of fellow. Hmmm, one wonders, all females in his life, hmmmm?
God sent him these little ones. He planned for him to father these two little flowers. My husband loves their pink frocks and tells them how pretty they are in them. He permitted the earrings. He talks about how they will find their prince one day and that he is Mommy’s.
Yesterday was a beautiful fall Sunday and we found ourselves at the home of some of our very best friends. We enjoyed an afternoon fishing in their pond. Both girls – as well as Mom – handled the poles, hooked the worms, proudly displayed their catch and handled the fish themselves. I don’t think we could have made Daddy happier. That and the 7 pound catfish he caught!
Ellie has recently begun to think new thoughts while snuggly tucked into her bed: the dark, “thunders and lightnings”, and spiders. Hannah is very sympathetic to her little sisters fears and worries.
Yesterday at nap time Hannah wanted to catch up on her “Little Critter” reading which are Ellie’s current favorites. Hannah offered to have “rocky time” with Ellie and read to her before her nap. She said, “Go on out, Mom, I can just tuck her in too.” Dismissed, I went out to wash up the lunch dishes and listened in on the monitor. Hannah was truly sweet and kind with her sister – went through the routine: rocky, pray, tuck-in, music box, and kisses.
I was truly touched by Hannah’s care and empathy toward her sister and how important she felt in being able to help her ease into naptime especially in light of Ellie’s recent difficulties.
Ellie was pouring on the charm at the grocery store this evening with several random sets of “grandparents” as we made our way up and down the aisles. Finally, at the end of the checkout lane, waiting, I think, remarkably patiently, I realize she is singing a sweet, new tune to herself – and everyone within hearing range. “Still waiting, still waiting, still waiting….”
Hoping no one else can understand her two-year old speech, I look around sheepishly and realize in fact that she charmed them again – she is rather cute after all.
